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This is the keyword feed for handle. Once cool, Kris and Betsy are now living on a cul de sac and breeding. Betsy really should be on the road making mad cash but that would interfere with breastfeeding. Podcasting for Download every M-W-F by 3:00 P.M. CST.

Latest Articles in this Channel:

  • 11/08/06--04:05: Two Years Of Getting It On! Nov 8, 2006 (chan 1990708)
  • Croncast 2006-11-08 Croncast - 2006-11-08.mp3

    Show: #298
    Length: 42:46
    Size: 29.3mb
    Format: mp3

    Betsy and her husband Kris November 08, 2006

    It is the Croncast 2 year anniversary! Read on for reason of lack of show notes.

    This sucks . . . I blew away the show notes by closing the tab after typing them in and not submitting. Firefox should ask if I really want to close the tab instead of just doing it. This sucks.

    Betsy tells her auction story, possibly a classic and we also talk about what we're going to do for the group home kids. So we are going to be doing a donation drive for them. I will have some more posts and set up a process for promoting it but it will be later. Got lots of information about the organization but check out their site for more Childserv.org.

    For now if you would like to make a cash donation to be given directly to the group home send it to kris@palegroove.com (PayPal).

    Auction photos:

    1) Fill out the appropriate form for you - *New* Listener or Get a Handle (current listener)
    2) Verify your email address (Activates and qualifies those with a "Handle")
    3) *New* listeners get activated and qualified by using their special RSS feed
    4) 300th new listener and the person whose Handle they use win iPods AND
    5) A drawing for 2 more iPods from everyone who entered!


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    Tags: Chenoa auction Pot belly pigs cement camel huggies box of geese little people

  • 11/09/06--04:11: Betsy and her husband Kris Nov 09, 2006 (chan 1990708)
  • Croncast 2006-11-09 align= Croncast - 2006-11-09.mp3

    Show: #299
    Length: 30:55
    Size: 21.22mb
    Format: mp3

    Betsy and her husband Kris November 09, 2006

    LAST DAY TO ENTER 300 by 300th CONTEST - ENDS 11:59 p.m. CST
    It's Betsy's two year Croncast anniversary!
    She felt pity for me and my nerd type shows
    Listen to our first show together
    Booba wouldn't do it with me
    Roping anyone and Betsy's desire to hear how much better it got with her
    Doing all the shows in the last week
    We'll send out the
    Recognizing spousal work
    Betsy got the ChildServ people on the horn and here's what we got
    For now . . . until I am able to find time to make a cool donations page stuff here's the deal:

    Send donations to - kris@palegroove.com or checks to:

    Kris and Betsy Smith
    P.O. Box 9690
    Naperville, IL 60567


    That is the skinny
    Astronaut Dave my former college roommate
    The busyness of life
    Leaf sucking and not blowing
    Life is show prep
    Betsy needs a holiday learning session
    QVC returns on palettes - Betsy's new nirvana
    She wants a new raking outfit
    The Queer eye shoosh
    The Puffy Cuff shoosh

    1) Fill out the appropriate form for you - *New* Listener or Get a Handle (current listener)
    2) Verify your email address (Activates and qualifies those with a "Handle")
    3) *New* listeners get activated and qualified by using their special RSS feed
    4) 300th new listener and the person whose Handle they use win iPods AND
    5) A drawing for 2 more iPods from everyone who entered!


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    Tags: QVC returns ChildServ iPod contest Puffy Cuffs Queer Eye shoosh

  • 11/10/06--03:31: Betsy and her husband Kris Nov 10, 2006 (chan 1990708)
  • Croncast 2006-11-10 align= Croncast - 2006-11-10.mp3

    Show: #300
    Length: 39:19
    Size: 27.0mb
    Format: mp3

    Betsy and her husband Kris November 10, 2006

    That's it, the contest she's over. We've hit the 300 show mark and have winners that we drew this morning . . .

    New listener winner - Matt Kavgian
    Handle winner - Tom Simpson

    Both of you guys will be receiving an email from me later this morning to ask what color iPod you would like. However, if you see or hear this first drop me an email and tell me what color you want.

    Betsy and I want to thank all of you for listening to the show! Some of you have been listening for two years(a little something in the show for you around the 4:15 mark), some of you who are new and to all of those somewhere in between, thanks for having us over.

    Show notes:

    We give the iPods away
    Betsy gets right into why it is just us on the show
    No Betsy's dad he's got he flu
    Not a good week for Gary
    This is the way it should be . . . me and Booba
    Is it too much pressure to be on the show?
    Would Betsy ask the hard hitting 60 minutes questions
    Why did we do the announcement at the beginning?
    Betsy hung out with a listener today . . . Tara
    Our family thinks continually that all of our listeners must be crazy
    Bagels and the playground
    There are normal people that listen to the show too
    How did she find us? Message board
    People talking about us online
    Goggle and technorati ego searches
    The Google searches that we get - "How to Show p*$#y to Husband"
    My guess from the search is Russian mail order bride
    The reason for all the hits is that we have over 549 items listed in the site
    "folicular" is also been popular we're still number one at Google
    I think Robin Klau coined dairysnake. . . .let me see
    "Hey, so whatever happened to Slowsky?"
    Poor Slowsky, Betsy wants to go see Slowsky
    Kris says that Slowsky is gone
    Betsy has a new passion that must be quenched . . . it has to do with QVC
    She is going to call and see about purchasiing returns to sell on eBay
    Amvets sweet old lady changes her tone when asked about sales
    The semi will be here soon to fill our house . . . I know you Betsy
    Not loving the hustle
    The multiple home handsets for phone
    What is the deal with the phone again . . . "checking line for trouble"
    We talk about the last two years and reminisce about nearly destroying our marriage
    On Monday we'll talk about the show and our plans
    Outro is a little more for the long time listeners

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    Tags: Google 300 300th Show Matt Kavgian Tom Simpson

  • 11/10/06--18:25: Final Handle Moxie numbers (chan 1990708)
  • That's it. That's all. But Philip asked to see the final numbers for the Handle Moxie . . . good idea. Statistically the contest was nearly a dead heat for chances to be victorious with the winner Tom from Webfeed Central.

    Thanks to all of you who participated and signed up for a Handle and spread the good karma.

    Final Handle Moxie
    Handle Peeps
    webfeed
    87
    PhilipZ
    86
    gizmo
    23
    tinaseamonster
    11
    Rheba
    7
    MelSullivan
    7
    sommer
    6
    DollyDagger
    6
    triad
    6
    bwitt
    6
    Bert
    5
    ShawnMilo
    5
    Mommymack
    4
    Garrick
    4
    cemseller
    4
    Mike
    3
    JamPod
    3
    kidswifeworklife
    3
    JuanBadHombre
    3
    NCN
    3
    Cheesenub
    3
    BASSMAN
    3
    lynanne
    2
    theheat
    2
    Frick
    2
    LisaLisa
    2
    podfink
    2
    Harold
    2
    RVCMathGuy
    2
    LauraO
    2
    SueBdynamo
    2
    GoldCoaster
    2
    OneMan
    1
    tripper
    1
    HiroZed
    1
    flack
    1
    QueenoftheDamned
    1
    Mohan
    1
    UUmike
    1
    agile
    1
    ladyj
    1
    mamaloo
    1
    admeyer
    1
    Buzzed
    1
    cohnjoyne
    1
    auntie_m
    1
    Sean
    1
    Abbi
    1
    sacwho
    1
    handler
    1
    Joggl
    1
    themaskedpeanut
    1
    HeyAnne
    1
    SadieGirl
    1
    regolith
    1
    srccoder
    1
    Hendeeillus
    1
    MichaelB
    1
    macs_rule
    1
    dharrisidiot
    1
    thetitaniumspork
    1
    madmari
    1
    acavert
    1
    Jodi
    1
    landisimo
    1
    StillPissed@Yoko
    1
    carynw
    1
    parz
    1
    hoper
    1


    Tags: 300 by 300th Croncast iPod contest Betsy Smith Kris Smith

  • 12/11/06--04:17: Betsy and her husband Kris Dec 11, 2006 (chan 1990708)
  • Croncast 2006-12-11 align= Croncast - 2006-12-11.mp3

    Show: #312
    Length: 32:16
    Size: 22.1 mb
    Format: mp3

    Betsy and her husband Kris December 11, 2006

    There is no laughing only coughing
    The three times intro
    Mommy isn't going to sell it
    Betsy spends the day potty training with Gigi
    Hugging the toilet
    Grabbing the diaper
    Maggie passed 'yes' for 'yeah'
    I got a coupon for the Avenue
    The first day of potty training sucks
    Is there a doggy door for shoe salesmen?
    Betsy gets her Build a Bear Mumbles the penguins
    She got them stuffed
    Gotta think about the busy moms
    "Santa brought you a fucking deflated stuffed animal."
    Getting it in the mail 30 years later . . . it smells like home
    Marlboro the penguin
    Heap of Mumbles
    He won't let Betsy pick up the stuff she bought for the man
    Buying frozen burritos by the case
    Her friends are in the TV
    Betsy is watching the snaggle tooth
    Betsy is taking charge
    Unless you are shipping a python or a wild boar then you select yes
    Betsy can't handle when people mess with the Post Office shipping kiosk
    It won't fit on the same site as the address
    The human doesn't read the bar code!
    Are you sure?
    Matching coats for the baby and her doll
    The Jo Anne Fabric
    Who makes their clothes any more?
    Tie the fleece together to make a blanket


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    Tags: frozen burritos Gigi potty training Build a Bear Mumble Jo Anne Fabric

  • 01/05/07--04:29: Betsy and her husband Kris Jan 05, 2007 (chan 1990708)
  • Croncast 2007-01-05 align= Croncast - 2007-01-05.mp3

    Show: #323
    Length: 38:08
    Size: 26.2mb
    Format: mp3

    Betsy and her husband Kris January 05, 2007

    Today's show is brought to you by Gary Shilts.
    Well, "Big news on Friday" has turned into "Big News on Monday"
    Betsy and a wise friend advised me against it for today, so blame them for ruining the fun
    The blue thing staring me down
    Turns out it is a dolphin, dolphins aren't blue
    It's a kids swing
    This color issue is bothering me
    Have you ever hear that introduction before
    You got it wrong Mr. B.
    We would have this argument on some stranger's driveway
    People couldn't handle it
    Today's big news is that Betsy thinks I need to be her apprentice, nope
    Betsy says that I can't tell the big news
    You already gave it away Betsy in email
    No one knows where we really live
    Henry, the nerd posse
    You have to give him a plug for his blog
    Even though he's from Aurora we let him in
    Drying your junk with an air dryer
    You would think immediately that this is something would happen in Aurora
    Well it wasn't
    Thanks for the image Henry!
    I know about your Habitat for Humanity
    I am going on record, I have never messed the white powder
    Unlike the Barack Obama
    Betsy does not take this kindly
    "They are dumping his stuff out in the public cause of his presidential aspirations"
    What you're telling me is that Mr. Kris Smith was a worm farmer?
    Who is 40 years old and hasn't tried drugs in their life
    It's not he's Republican, every Democrat has done drugs
    I don't understand this ideal . . . and Kris misuses the word "vestige" . . . I apologize
    Happy rays come out of his eyes
    Don't let him take his shift off then his love rays come out
    Lifetime movies are TV teledramas purchased for $7.50 from a vault
    Stranded on an island with a hot guy and her dork ass husband
    We had to watch the movie because the starlet had big boobs, natural
    Betsy is hitting the Black Box Wine again
    I can see you doing what you do, Betsy, with any product
    Dumpster diving does have real value
    "I just got good at this," Betsy
    Taking out the benches that could smash children
    Watching the garbage man do his job
    He has to think every week, "It's about time these people got evicted"
    Getting teacher crap for the holidays
    OK shows over


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    Tags: Lifetime movies Barack Obama Black Box Wine dumpster diving Gary Shilts

  • 04/18/07--03:52: Betsy and her husband Kris Apr 18, 2007 (chan 1990708)
  • Croncast 2007-04-18 align= Croncast - 2007-04-18.mp3
    Show: #351
    Length: 30:21
    Size: 20.8mb
    Format: mp3

    Betsy and her husband Kris April 18, 2007

    Join up with the Croncast Cronies . . . thanks Kelly C.
    We're here for your tax hangover
    Welcome to Wednesday
    They should start the new year with taxes
    We said in January we we're going to run lean this year
    Look at it as an opportunity
    Hanging with the short bus dudes
    Mr. B you should get a job as a bus driver
    The driving tests
    There is no way that they could insure me to drive a bus
    Sorry I just need to get my edge
    Way back when I was lactating
    Who the hell reads the fine print?
    Your tombstone Kris . . . . all in fine print
    The lesson of my life
    I am tired of and can't handle another fucking life lesson
    Their is only place we haven't been stuck is investing
    Unless it is my good looks
    Gotta go to NY with puff in your cuff
    Same camel hair jacket, less some hair
    You can wear undees and have no close
    David Sedaris being called out on embellishing
    WTF world
    What is this weekend Betsy?
    First full sub-division sales
    People higher up on the food chain
    I love to eat the chum from the surface after the big ones have snacked
    I signed the documents and didn't look up as she was asking
    She was asking Betsy to sell some stuff on eBay
    They beg and keep throwing the rope out
    "You can take a commission" which means . . . we're cool right?
    Liz . . . you are heretofore known as Mike Marusin's wife
    Carla brings over a 15 year old Coach bag
    Betsy needs her own show . . . "The Appraiser"
    It's all $32.99
    The stolen eBay accounts that keep buying her bags
    The Nigerian shipping address flagged us
    As your husband . . . it is embarrassing that people walk up to you and ask you to sell their junk
    We're Sanford and Husband, you need to get over yourself
    I need a junk shop it would be my dream
    Junk spelled 'que' I can't take it
    Junk shop to p's and an 'e', Junque Shoppe
    I have it baby, your shoppe just needs to be an empty parking lot with the junk piled high
    We can start it here in the cul de sac
    CBI - chief bitch in charge
    Betsy is now writing the greatest garage sale ad ever
    She has to make it seem like the ultimate subdivision
    It would be like a crappy play
    Just take the junque think on tour
    Vets treat animals not people
    Take the dog to the vet and get it's medical history
    Going to the hospital five hours later
    Rabies isn't reality . . . but the rabid bats in your walls did it
    Dead bat in the back of the toilet when I lifted up the lid
    Pure evil
    You probably killed the bat and don't remember doing it
    Cuddling it too hard and put it in the toilet in a moment of stoned panic
    Bow down bitches, I told you so doesn't fit
    Baby it is always the same
    You're cutting me off again Betsy
    You would not succeed as a junk seller Mr. B
    McDonald's still makes me happy
    I can look at a T and T Barbie, a Twist and Turn from the 60's
    Betsy has it locked down on eBay
    You are addicted to selling junk
    The same way that blue hairs addicted to scratch offs
    You got the eBay juice
    What happened to the purse business?
    Kris busts into the NYC cab story
    His wibbling moustache
    Maybe that was the best part of the story
    When you visit NYC have purpose, walk, talk act like you got something going on
    The city is out to get you but can make it better
    More people than I have ever seen in my live
    It's like walking into the largest ant colony you have ever seen
    In NYC people were nice
    Right, now that they have your credit card number

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    Tags: bus driver David Sedaris read the fine print junque shoppe dead bat in toilet

  • 07/27/07--06:59: Betsy and her husband Kris Jul 27, 2007 (chan 1990708)
  • Croncast 2007-07-27 align= Croncast - 2007-07-27.mp3
    Show: #390
    Length: 32:29
    Size: 22.3mb
    Format: mp3

    Betsy and her husband Kris Jul 27, 2007

    Join Croncast Cronies . . . thanks to all those signed up already!.

    It's been a while since we've done a show
    The worst part is I can't tell anyone the story
    It will ruin the show
    We have to tell everyone we'll tell you later
    I did see some of the photos baby
    Jeanie and I laughed
    Don't start there Bears
    This is not the typical Croncast, Kris and Betsy story
    Sure I have been supplanted by Jeanie
    Mr B would have done this anyway
    Do you want to tell your story?
    Can I give you some hints to telling a story
    We are going to start our story from the very beginning
    Jeanie rolls up to my house
    We have to go to my sister's kids party
    My mom and my dad in the same building, stress
    The last time was like 10 years since they were in same room
    I had nightmares about how bad this trip was going to be
    Epiphany was to dope them out with DVD's
    Misgivings? Why? Last year was not enough?
    So I strap in the DVD player and monitors
    We surprise the kids with it
    Strap in the kids and pull away
    The power adapter pops in, out, in, out
    Elliot,"It's on, It's off. It's on. It's off."
    With a former truck driver by your side I shouldn't have been worried
    Jeanie took a class in map reading
    "Betsy, where is the map?"
    "I don't have one."
    Simply a print out from mapquest
    With the kids I figured it out
    Take the group home approach, catch them being good
    What does Maggie get?
    Green dry erase markers
    45 minutes later Jeanie says you've got look at Maggie
    The scariest site ever
    Maggie colored herself green and put chocolate in her hair
    She was laughing maniacally
    "I funny. I funny."
    So we pull over at a truck stop
    I walk in with Gigi
    Everyone stops, turns and stares at us
    She had lifted her dress and colored all the way to her diaper
    That woman is totally talking to Betsy
    Dry erase markers come off very easy
    Where are you at this point?
    Western Illinois
    Jeanie wanted to hit the world's largest truck stop
    Betsy, "Didn't you listen to last year's vacation show?"
    Another thing that we learned last year was to get a hotel room
    Jeanie was rolling up in the driveway when you booked it
    You didn't remember it
    Kris, shut up, this is my show
    No map Betsy doesn't know where she is
    Elliot and Maggie hit the hotel and want to sleep with mama
    Elliot has had it and is ready to sleep in the car
    Little Kris was in the backseat complaining
    Now he reads numbers he made sure to point out we were speeding
    I don't recommend the Super 8 in Lincoln, Nebraska
    Isn't there something in Lincoln like a university
    Jeanie brings the good trip karma with her
    The scary omens of the open road
    I had apologized to Jeanie
    You have got to heed the signs
    Every mile marker was a Slowsky moment
    I was amazed that we rolled into Denver/Boulder area
    The kids have started to melt down
    Hey, you've won another Pokeman card
    Jeanie, can I have another car
    Honey, Mommy is going 90 mph you need to sit still
    They waited until we were in traffic to act up
    Every parent knows that you kids don't need anything from you until you are merging onto the interstate
    We were behind a Prius
    It had a blue hair in it, double whammy
    Did the exhaust smell like broccoli or cooked carrots?
    When you ride with Betsy you are junk coordinator
    Fast food dumped in your lap and Betsy sipping on her diet coke
    Give me that grilled chicken bitch
    I know you, Booba
    Speeder! I won't get in to it
    Kris has speeding story to tell
    My great Denver court room story
    We have been here for 12 minutes into the immaculate clean house where we are staying kids flip out
    So we leave the house
    Where did you go?
    Pearl Street
    Do you want to stand on a clogged street in 88 degree heat with hippies
    Elliot's hippie story, guy's sign said, "need money for a shirt," but I watched him take off his shirt and stick it under a rock
    Sounds like Pearl Street to me
    Henry is putting up a mark on the chalkboard right now
    I know who your favorite hippie is
    Jeanie called Evan to tell him that they were going to see the hippies
    "My ship has sunk. I need cash"
    I told you it was the pirate
    Very herbal
    They're all playing guitars and wait for you
    No judgment, eh Kris?
    Pete the pirate
    You could start a fish stick line with his name for $6
    I have to stand there and tell my son that this stuff is normal
    We saw Goth grandma
    She doesn't care anymore
    You get passed 70 and start tripping on your titties
    The point of this story that children work on 15 minute cycles
    Jeanie sees the
    Here's the reason the hippies bother me
    They are balanced out by smug trust fund babies
    Betsy, "I only pan handled once. That is a story for another day."
    The next day when you came home from San Francisco I made sure we got home right away
    Elliot saves family in the mountains
    Give him a hard time, you can't mess with the man
    We stopped someplace in between
    The place where you buy gas in a bucket
    We roll into Rocky Mountain National Park
    The kids are watching Scoobie Doo at full blast
    We are excited about a fox with dead animals in its mouth
    Elliot, "Shush, there is a boy named Elliot in this episode"
    Momma, I just saw a squid
    Momma, I just saw an alligator
    Not even close to being in a forest
    It's not funny when you are their mother
    He got it from a book you bought him
    A book about future animals 10,000 years from now with illustrations
    I forgot my cell phone
    That is what I do Mr. B
    So we start going up the mountain
    Jeanie is gripping the OSHA car handle
    The blood vessels are popping out from between her fingers
    She has gone pale
    Maggie, "no up. No up. No up."
    Betsy talks Jeanie down
    Look I'm driving with no hands
    Maggie's sense is I'm strapped in
    Shut up guys, Scoobie is on
    Wrap the show . . . coming back down the mountain
    Maybe a little Elk Mountain Resort, Valhalla on Monday, Wednesday

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    Tags: portable DVD Pearl Street Jeanie Bowen summer vaction 2007 Elk Mountain Resort

  • 09/03/07--05:53: Betsy and her husband Kris Sep 03, 2007 (chan 1990708)
  • Croncast 2007-09-03 align= Croncast - 2007-09-03.mp3
    Show: #405
    Length: 33:11
    Size: 21.1mb
    Format: mp3

    Betsy and her husband Kris Sep 03, 2007

    Show us some love and leave us a review at iTunes

    Short show notes:
    Betsy can't handle not mocking me during
    How can I now mock you?
    Kris had to do the intro 27 times
    No way
    August melted like a warm pat of butter in the sun straight into September
    Celebrating a laborless birthday
    I can't handle it
    The worst joke that Betsy ever attempted
    Wow did that bomb
    Been a crazy weekend around here
    We're broke
    Thankfully we live in Pleasantville
    Oh my god the cup is so half empty for you
    What else do you want?
    The park public bathrooms have Corian
    The man tells me he is good at that point
    Those games cost money . . . who wants to pet goats?
    I wanna go on this ride . . . suck it up
    Daddy doesn't make enough money
    It's character building Mr. B
    The photos like this chicken riding a llama
    This chicken sees your soul

    Chicken on back of Llama

    Maggie was super excited to ride the ponies
    The chicken on the llama . . . she never thought of that
    The 8 by 8 portable animal corral
    Filled with animals
    Pigs are doing figure 8's around the llama's feet
    It wasn't a petting zoo it was a petting corral
    Same thing happened with Elliot at Lake Holiday
    The kids get on to the sand pile
    The super farmer, Farmer Rollo, comes walking to his truck
    Farmers look like retired Floridians they are so tan
    Silver hoop earing . . . a pirate farmer
    That man is an owner operator
    I run this joint, that's my 8 by 8 pen bitch
    It was funny when he came sauntering by with blood spurting from his face
    He's hustling to his truck
    Applying pressure to his face
    What's wrong with you?
    The pig bit me
    The thing about the pigs is they were 10 weeks old
    They go vicious
    Thought of his probiscus as a teet
    He wants the Jaycees contract for next year
    Maybe some more horses next year
    The animals were all in good shape
    Eventually he stops the bleeding
    He tried everything he could in his truck
    He was trying to be casual about it
    One of those things that was interesting to watch
    OSHA would have take him to task
    That pig should have been at least 12 inches from your face
    I won't tell you what they do to the runts
    Speaking of death
    We watched the Mount Everest thing on NBC
    They left the guy behind
    Poked him in the eye to make sure he was dead
    Next day . . . he's awake and talking to new climbers
    Can I talk to you about improv class?
    Sure you can lay it out for me
    He's a professional extra
    The goal is to succeed as a team
    Right, they aren't supposed to be laughing at one of you
    Betsy, you have to hold it back
    Am I sassy? No
    Am I hyper? No
    Am I a bossy bitch? Yes
    You have to stop steam rolling over everyone
    You need to remember that you run over people
    I am glad you are having someone point this out to you
    We are an ensemble and the rest of your life should be that way
    I hear people laughing all day in my head

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    Tags: Corian Farmer Rollo Pleasantville baby pigs OSHA

  • 09/14/07--07:00: Betsy and her husband Kris Sep 14, 2007 (chan 1990708)
  • Croncast 2007-09-14 align= Croncast - 2007-09-14.mp3
    Show: #410
    Length: 34:42
    Size: 23.8mb
    Format: mp3

    Betsy and her husband Kris Sep 14, 2007

    Show us some love and leave us a review at iTunes

    Early insert for TFF - Tell a Friend Friday
    Go out and tell a friend about Croncast
    We now have a way for you to even tell strangers
    STICKERS! They'll be here on Tuesday
    Here's what it will look like . . . inside the red area with rounded corners
    To get your sticker send $2.00 support from the site or get 3 stickers for $5.00




    Now to the show notes
    Trescadecaphobes yesterday was the day
    Today it is safe it is the 14th
    It was a good 13th for me
    You are on a nerd high Mr. B . . . I'm gonna let you roll
    Yeah, I am stoked
    I saw in Google Reader that TechCrunch 40 had 5 press/blogger passes available
    Sent Jason Calacanis a message
    Hour and a half later I was good to go
    So thanks to Jason . . . I am really looking forward to the event
    I'll crank out some podcasts
    Thanks to Rick and Robin for putting me up next week
    I'll get to see the solar panels
    We should buy carbon credits from them
    It's good to be all in Mr B
    Like I said, you've got to strike while the iron is hot
    Can I now tell my story, Kris
    I had a creepy thing happen to me last night
    I gotta thank people
    I don't tell people thank you enough
    You don't
    I know baby
    I had the best lesson taught to me by my uncle
    He sent me a thank you note
    Then on the back it said, "This is what a thank you not looks like."
    He told you!
    Betsy's problem is she buys them and writes them but just doesn't follow through
    The only person that always gets them in neighbor . . . I can walk them over
    So what happened on your dark night
    Yeah, your creepy story . . . sorry that I asked
    Get off the stage bitch
    I don't have to work with anyone
    I reallize that I left my purse in the bar
    The drunk bouncer stops me and cuts me off
    He's a drunk frat boy
    Where them diet chocolate shakes at
    He gets all up in my face
    Sucking in my oxygen, that close
    Listen, I am as old as dirt
    We get into this battle of the wits
    My she is fabulous . . . she is so witty
    Do you know what he did?
    Started crying
    No, he kissed me
    Silence
    The most disgusting moment of my life
    I know you stepped back into his personal space
    So he kissed you . . . where?
    My lips
    I was shocked
    I can't believe you are telling me now, not last night
    You didn't seem to mention it
    Yeah, I'm running away with the bouncer
    Takes a certain type of dude to handle a lady like you
    Don't take that personally
    Your behavior can be interpreted different ways
    I did not invade this man's space
    Think of the sweet alley action he gets
    I gotta tell you not a big fan of improv night or Bar Louie
    I didn't expect to hear this
    No, I don't find it alright to deal with
    The most competent individual you can hire for $6
    The score is 1 me, you 0
    The reason that I have an issue with it is that I would have rumbled
    I would have hit him
    Really?
    Notice how I said I would have hit him, not kicked his ass
    Oh, Mr. B
    Improv class might not be my thing
    Betsy tells us all about improv
    You are milking that imaginary cow all wrong
    Oh, no, no . . . I was in FFA I know how to milk a cow city man

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    Tags: Bar Louie TechCrunch 40 Jason Calacanis TFF croncast stickers

  • 09/24/07--07:15: Betsy and her husband Kris Sep 24, 2007 (chan 1990708)
  • Croncast 2007-09-24 align= Croncast - 2007-09-24.mp3
    Show: #414
    Length: 25:13
    Size: 17.3mb
    Format: mp3

    Betsy and her husband Kris Sep 24, 2007

    Show us some love and leave us a review at iTunes

    STICKERS! They'll be here on Tuesday
    Here's what it will look like . . . inside the red area with rounded corners
    To get your sticker send $2.00 support from the site or get 3 stickers for $5.00




    Leave us a comment at Croncast
    Saturday morning writing code and the 800 number starts ringing off the hook
    After the call I figure it might be important
    Turns out that it was regional manager or gm for Bar Louie
    The nerd posse didn't have to go in person they sent email
    Yeah, they listened to the show
    I would have been stuck making co-payments if you had been there
    He listened to the show!
    Kudos to Bar Louie and their parent Corp. for stepping up to the plate
    John Elway Dodge could learn from these people
    Or should I say Go Dodge Denver on Arapahoe
    Maybe this means something bigger
    It was really good of them to call
    Betsy chalked up the guys behavior to culture
    Your employees should be a reflection of the place they work
    My esteem for Bart Louie is way higher than it used to be
    So yeah, it is brand management
    They are taking the lead and that is awesome
    Being proactive in their case is makes sense
    They were going to fire the guy
    Was probably the greatest job he ever had
    Then he gets drunk and kisses patrons
    Karma stepped forward as the enforcer
    Couldn't fire the guy . . . he was already fired!
    Sweet
    They handled right then and there that night
    How do you know if bouncers don't always act like that
    Bouncers come in two varieties . . . gross and creepy
    Naperville puts plain clothes officers in bars
    Betsy's sister knows all about them
    Buy the bicycle cop calendar
    They talk like they walked out of a flame novel
    The HR for them must be a single desperate chick
    Betsy is glad that Bar Louie handled it
    What do you want them to do?
    Yes, I am the damaged
    I can no longer kiss you
    Screaming baby interrupts the show
    Betsy moves on the twins and triplets sale
    Don't I have the best job ever?
    Sure, dumpsters are quaint
    I wasn't supposed to be on list
    Then I made it in
    Planned Parenthood Es Muy Mal Para Aurora
    Singletons . . . what the hell is a singleton?
    Kris, they are genetically challenged ladies like me that have babies on at a time
    Four perms turned at once
    You are the one that wrote the blog post
    I burned my face with coffee
    They all come back to haunt me
    We thought it was funny
    These women are twitter parenting
    Run . . . have you no respect
    Are you embarrassed that your mommy tummy is going to slap you in the face?
    Run! We are all in the same boat bitches
    In today's money
    Tell a Friend Friday is going awesome
    New stickers should be here today

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    Tags: Bar Louie Naperville twins and triplets dumpster diving Planned Parenthood Aurora croncast stickers

  • 10/03/07--05:20: Betsy and her husband Kris Oct 03, 2007 (chan 1990708)
  • Croncast 2007-10-03 align= Croncast - 2007-10-03.mp3
    Show: #417
    Length: 31:01
    Size: 21.3mb
    Format: mp3

    Betsy and her husband Kris Oct 03, 2007

    Show us some love and leave us a review at iTunes

    Bringing you the show for October 3rd
    Be sly that that Google search person
    It was good
    New contest . . . Google you most creative result that gets you Croncast
    You have to click through
    You will win some stickers
    The stickers were in your expo bag
    Those gotta go out
    Thanks to Steve, Mark, Rhonda and Craig
    Betsy giving me looks as I slow down those names
    They were at the live show
    Betsy has some thoughts on the nerd convention
    Every woman should visit one of these
    There were no chicks there
    1. No line for womens bathroom
    You should be happy not to have many women while husband is away
    Doing shots at the bar with Nick Starr
    You are the hottest chick in the bar
    Never happens to me in Naperville
    It's an ego boost
    It is so easy to compliment you people
    You say something kind of clever . . .
    Then I say, "I'm gonna twitter that"
    Or say, "I am going to buy that domain"
    Yeah, I used that a few times
    Ahh, nerdom. I love it
    Why don't we go to In and Out Burger again
    Too much to handle
    My lower colon just smiled at you
    Twitter is addictive
    It's like IM but one way
    Do they build sonar into your phones?
    You live in the dark
    Come out into the light and you walk reading your device
    Nobody has a iPhone hit the floor baby
    It's not just guys
    You have a vagina. You are supposed to be on my side
    You are being so impolite, bears
    I don't want to look like a nerd
    No one calls each other at a nerd event
    It's all sms baby, ping
    Or we communicate by twitter
    Swatting at invisible spiders
    They are not nerd vacations . . . it's where business gets done
    Everyone talks about what they have going on
    Like Aaron Brazell mentioning mem_cache on MySQL
    If I hadn't been on that trip I wouldn't have been able to share that with our developers
    There were no babies or many wedding rings
    I volunteered for something that I will pass to you, Kris
    I have to decline
    I do not want to volunteer for art class
    It's no big deal Mr B
    The children are making these collages
    This is the most beautiful forest that I have ever seen
    That's not your tree . . . that's your mother . . . oh!
    Now I got to make a pipe cleaner cloud
    It's all about balance
    This flower . . . I can almost . . . smell it
    Maybe a pipe cleaner porcupine?
    It is the coolest funniest shit you've ever seen
    We need rounded edges Mrs. Smith
    Little boys making the "gun" hand on the playground
    Fighting back instead of being pushed around
    Being positive for the man
    He has picked up a new habit that he is sticking with
    Going full circle
    Yes, my mom called 12 times today and left three voicemails
    Would a neurologist have anything to look for in your ear?

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    Here's what it will look like . . . inside the red area with rounded corners
    To get your sticker send $2.00 support from the site or get 3 stickers for $5.00






    Tags: iPhone twitter that nerdom Aaron Brazell nerd conferences

  • 11/14/07--05:12: Betsy and her husband Kris Nov 14, 2007 (chan 1990708)
  • Croncast 2007-11-14 align= Croncast - 2007-11-14.mp3
    Show: #433
    Length: 28:35
    Size: 19.8mb
    Format: mp3

    Show us some love and leave us a review at iTunes

    Post birthday wrap up
    No I won't read it . . . it is inappropriate
    What did you get me for my birthday?
    Love
    How do I put a photo of that up?
    Just a white space
    Your gift already expired
    It was an interesting birthday
    Was it like having a heel ground into your balls
    To know that your plasma just bought tickets to a movie and chocolate cake
    You came home with this cake
    It had one 3 of the 33
    I thought about using toothpaste to put the other on
    I saw this monster chocolate cake
    I have been shaving chocolate since 4 a.m.
    Granted, he'll know it's from Costco
    "All-American Chocolate Cake"
    My Black Keys poster is gone
    You blow out the candles
    It was like a car tire, not really
    My accent is like a cheesegrater on the edge of my words
    I chop up the cake
    Hand it out
    And everyone is like this is a great cake
    Elliot stands up straight
    "I NEED TO BE EXCUSED"
    He starts bouncing off the furniture
    My mom look up and her face it bright red
    Maggie starts freaking out too
    She is yelling about wanting to ride the dog
    Yeah, I ate four bites and had to stop
    Betsy, I think it is full of caffeine
    Loaded chocolate cake
    Who wants to do more cake?
    I am wired at this point
    I didn't have an iris left
    Just black eyes from open pupils
    I couldn't handle it
    You guys were right about the cake
    Mom just stands up all the sudden
    I gotta go to bed now
    Talking a mile a minute
    I go to get my phone out of the car
    Find some gummy bears
    I eat a handful of them
    My chest starts thumping
    My body tingles all over
    Was it going along with the beat of the music?
    I have never, ever felt that way in my life
    Felt good when you scratched you head though didn't it
    You know what will make you feel better?
    More cake
    That is like saying, I could use more diarrhea
    I need to find my worst enemy to share it with
    Scientists for chocolate experts look at that cake and tell us why
    That cake was pure baked cocaine
    I was still thinking about the cake today
    Why do I want more cake? It's 8 a.m.
    I do not fall into the stimulant category
    Thanks to Costco I will no longer eat chocolate cake
    You can turn off your emotions like a switch
    Kris's phone is blowing up
    Birthday wishes at 4 a.m.
    I need to invent an apparatus that allows you to smoke while sleep
    I'll be a quadrillionaire
    Smoking in your sleep is healthy
    Human mysters at 2 a.m.
    The deer just stood in the front yard
    Yeah, your dog will poop and eat it before it hits the ground
    Stuffed animals from Goodwill need to be washed, Betsy
    No they don't, they just need love

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    Tags: Costco cake Goodwill smoking in your sleep caffeine chocolate expert

  • 02/01/08--07:51: Season 19 Ep 11: Walzer A., Buffalo Days, The Coffee Drinker (chan 1990708)
  • Croncast 2008-02-01 align= Croncast - 2008-02-01.mp3
    Show: #457
    Length: 26:13
    Size: 18.1mb
    Format: mp3

    Show us some love and leave us a review at iTunes



    The Resale Queen Podcast is now here!
    Every Saturday by 9 a.m. CST

    About the Wednesday show
    We were recording and the phone was ringing off the hook
    Call from Walzer A
    So this is Wednesday's show
    Yeah, it was your sister calling
    Brother-in-law lost his job
    And the three mother hens showed up at his house
    I did not envy him at all
    It is getting more and more crowded in this boat
    Your mom told you that you need to take care of this
    I couldn't think of a more depressing situation
    I wouldn't have come home
    I would have went out at 8 am and got a beer
    Where? This isn't Milwaukee
    I would have waited that shit out
    You are telling me that I am a born leader
    I was telling myself that I glad you all weren't here
    This is how it goes down in my dysfunctional family
    My entire life I have had to be the man
    What?
    You shoveled in the middle in a snow storm
    You can't even tell you shoveled
    Doing it repeatedly doesn't make sense
    At 4:30 am our neighbor fired up his snow blower
    Ridiculous
    Some men wake up with motivation, Kris
    What would you do if it were a chainsaw?
    Then he started cutting down trees
    Well, hell he was motivated
    Oh, baby
    I tossed pup pup in a snowbank
    What for?
    To send to the TV station
    Are you serious?
    Well, I did send it
    The auto response email was "Thanks for sending to KABC 7 Los Angeles"
    Your snowy dog will be on in LA
    You dogs suck
    Jorge would be restricted to humane society
    Ass end up in a garbage can
    That is what we should have called the Resale Queen show
    Yesterday, I almost slipped and died
    Good things that dumpsters are heavy
    How come they don't shovel by them?
    I am going to open Dumpster Land
    A theme park for you and your people
    The dangers that you face everyday
    It can't be packing peanuts
    There is no Calvin pissing on nothing
    What stickers would the truck have?
    Did the new trucks ever roll out to La Moille?
    I though i shouldn't ask because it would be sad
    There was a time that they did come out
    No one can tie a knot in this town
    Ending up in the county jail
    Swanson's baby
    Onions in the peas
    They came to town for Buffalo Days
    The quaint small town festivals in movies, lies
    There's no tax base to support that
    Basketball game in a gravel pit
    I grew up across from a buffalo pasture
    Did you ride buffalo instead of ponies?
    Did they chain them to a claw foot tub to slow them down?
    From kindergarten to graduation at 14
    Let me run the tilt-a-whirl
    I would be right there
    Ending up with a corn cob in his bibs
    Might be dangerous but in a small town that's fun
    Being pulled on sled behind cars
    Watching the console in a lawn chair
    I have sat in the back of a Chevy and bounced across fields
    We didn't do donuts in a Wal Mart parking lot
    It was a small town
    Ok, K-Mart
    That would have been a 30 mile commute
    I know you rode in the back of a pickup truck on the way to a K-Mart
    Yes, I did
    CB radios in those days, figuring out who the coffee drinker was
    Your mom would have a handle

    View Kris's resume or download it



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    Tags: buffalo snowy dog LaMoille Resale Queen sledding

  • 02/06/08--06:54: Season 19 Ep 13: The Coffee Drinker, Whip Antennae, CB Radio Booty Call (chan 1990708)
  • Croncast 2008-02-06 align= Croncast - 2008-02-06.mp3
    Show: #459
    Length: 29:08
    Size: 20.0mb
    Format: mp3

    Show us some love and leave us a review at iTunes

    BigJon wanted to know who "The Coffee Drinker" is
    Suspense, I don't how we did it
    The Coffee Drinker background
    Has something to do with CB Radios
    The big whip antennae's on trucks
    If you had two you were the shit
    So some ladies would come on night and ask for "The Coffee Drinker"
    We thought it might be a kid like us
    A sophisticated kid drinking Folgers with their folks
    Could have been the farmers having coffee
    Water and syrup falls on ice in cup
    Too much for a small town person to handle
    Yeah, you need training to run the fountain soda dispenser
    The old guys brought in a scanner
    The Coffee Drinker wouldn't reply back
    Of course he wouldn't
    Kris, you need some help
    Get yourself something nice when I don't talk
    Cruising around in the morning
    How do you know who his kid is?
    Bill had some issues
    He had rebel flag stickers on his car, no one really liked him and he listened to too much AC/DC
    He says, that The Coffee Drinker was his dad
    His dad tilled my garden every year
    Is that why you are the way you are?
    Maybe I should have said tilled my mom's garden
    You gotta use the lingo
    Smokey and the bandit style
    A CB radio booty call
    It's not the one that you are thinking of
    They are like nannies
    Small town = "Not my business"
    I think I need to resurrect this story
    You can't just end there
    You have to come with conviction
    Your car won't want to stop
    These people just let life happen to them
    Until something forces them to move on
    No lapping waves at their shore
    Lots of driving around happens
    He pulled you over because he wanted to talk to you
    Where I'm from men can't do that
    You're with that Smith boy, ain't you
    Johnny law vs. the high school kids
    Typical
    They don't have any training
    This is how you hit'em with the yellow pages
    This is how you hit'em with the white pages
    He was throwing the beers out the sun roof
    Straight up in the air
    The cop is dodging our beer cans
    You left a trail of beer crumbs for him to follow
    It was late at night they could have been anyone's beers
    There were a lot of drunk bunnies and chipmunks the next morning
    What should you do in that situation?
    Full circle in your life would be becoming the town cop



    The Resale Queen Podcast is now here! Every Saturday by 9 a.m. CST

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    Tags: CB Radio The Coffee Drinker rebel flag stickers drunk bunnies sun roof

  • 02/08/08--07:43: Season 19 Ep 14: International Player, Un-Unitarian, Faded Duds (chan 1990708)
  • Croncast 2008-02-08 align= Croncast - 2008-02-08.mp3
    Show: #460
    Length: 31:41
    Size: 21.8mb
    Format: mp3

    Show us some love and leave us a review at iTunes

    Here we are for 2008 02 08
    If you were an international player such as myself
    What do you do internationally?
    Podast internationally three times a week
    You are an exporter baby
    The air mattress can hold more money
    Less filler
    Thesises theses who knows . . .someone does
    Mixed intro with Betsy
    Comments about Kris's CB handle
    I didn't have one
    I was never in to it
    You mean you were never allowed
    Your CB would have been made of a Fisher-Price record player
    It wasn't bad to the bone
    When the bullet hits the bone
    Different that what you think
    It's a Friday . . . we gotta keep things loose
    You are doing a live improv show
    How do you do a "non-live" improv show?
    I see, but you have to be spontaneous
    You're gonna be prissy
    The guy who likes to flip over chairs
    You are manic
    So are your people
    Yeah, but you are predictable too
    What do you do?
    Kid who talks so much
    I am bothered already
    It's just stupid
    No enough
    I do hate improv
    Ninety five percent of it is bad
    Five percent is good
    I don't like sitting through it to catch the good stuff
    If it were tv I would change the channel
    What is your next step?
    I can't do it I'm 32
    The younger people can do it
    We'd be opening strip shows
    He takes off his coat and he has my shirt on
    I flipped out
    But why?
    How un-unitarian is it of you
    To challenge your child on the gender specificity of his clothes
    You should have worried more that it was your shirt
    The first person that owned that messed up
    The lady who bought it at Goodwill was out of their minds
    Everybody gives me a hard time about my clothes
    No one else gets it baby
    Your 1998 pants need to be destroyed
    Your stove pipe pants hearken back to grunge days
    They have been sitting at Goodwill for 10 years
    You rescued them from the slow ship to Africa
    Those pants sang to you
    I wash, dry and they fit like a glove
    You are irrationally afraid of sharks and feet
    Tromping around in the snow
    That is the bummer part
    You put on yesterday's pants
    If they have yesterday's salt ring on them
    That is a total bummer
    I hate the midwest
    I just don't care, Kris
    If you won't let your kid wear it
    You shouldn't wear it either
    I don't consider what Elliot would look like in it
    We've come a long way since we moved into the suburbs
    I have been assimilated and so have you
    I am not talking politics with you
    People will realize that Obama has Jesus shooting out of his eyes
    Let me give you a hint, baby, you are the only one who sees Jesus Check out the For Whatever Reason Podcast Produced by friend of the show Tim Alexander

    The Resale Queen Podcast is now here! Every Saturday by 9 a.m. CST

    View Kris's resume or download it



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    Tags: record player Tim Alexander CB Handle 1998 pants For Whatever Reason

  • 02/15/08--06:49: Season 19 Ep 17: Small Fry, Baby Face, Knight Rider (chan 1990708)
  • Croncast 2008-02-15 align= Croncast - 2008-02-15.mp3
    Show: #463
    Length: 43:23
    Size: 29.8mb
    Format: mp3

    Show us some love and leave us a review at iTunes

    Jeanie is in town
    Leaving some comments
    The guy who sells stuff on tv
    Getting our first C&D
    You've got to be kidding me
    The links come from Ebay
    Didn't want to be told
    It's all ESC fault in the first place
    If you get one too ESC let me know
    I will roll over like the big pansy that I am
    Go to Google and
    Stipulation is owning those two words put together
    Like I own Mr. B?
    Now if you say it I am going to sue you
    I will find all
    I copyrighted Jeanie's CB handle 'Small Fry'
    Career choices
    Look she married me
    One wild crazy idea
    Jeanie's face
    I got you something earlier this week
    I got a job
    Where is my present?
    I paid for that
    I'm going all out
    Did you squeeze some ground beef out of tube
    Guys, I am trying to get a career
    We know Betsy
    What happened to Wheel of Fortune?
    Not gonna happen
    Just get back to people tell them it isn't working out
    Find me the chubby stay at mommy stay at home comedian
    Like my improv career that I pay for
    The gig fell apart
    It was an association party
    They don't want
    Is the man in the basement telling me that I don't get out enough?
    It is your lack getting out
    Yeah, we're gonna perform during dinner time
    I had a flash back of the belly dancers at the conference
    Holding napkins over crotches slinking off
    The belly dancing went down
    At the next party there was a bondage demonstration
    The year before they had the painted women
    Ewwwwwwwww
    Jeanie might recognize them from the lot lizard count
    Anyone named Velma under 72 is a lot lizard
    Isn't your grandma named Velma?
    Yes, she is older than 72
    Did the people even want you there?
    Jeanie dated that guy
    I didn't date anyone on the road
    For technicalities sake, you did have a trucker boyfriend
    What was his CB handle?
    They called him "Baby Face"
    Baby Face and Small Fry
    Did he have to sit on a telephone guy?
    Baby Face turned you into a trucker
    I thought we were going to talk about my resume
    Karen Zhender gender bender
    Why don't you eat your weight in free cake and we can blow this popcorn stand
    For out last performance
    "Whew, last one"
    Passing on the highway
    We chatted with Knight Rider
    He had to pick is own CB handle
    You and who? You said we?
    Me and Sweet T
    Jeanie, I love these stories
    Where else did you work?
    As a 911 dispatcher
    No way!
    You've got to have good stories
    He was in the evidence 'shed'
    Shed?
    When you destroy guns you saw them in to pieces
    He was sawing
    Friction and a bullet in the chamber
    He swore that he checked
    Officer Twinkie shot himself in the leg
    Stopping speeders

    The Resale Queen Podcast is now here! Every Saturday by 9 a.m. CST


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    Tags: Knight Rider Jeanie Bowen Velma cb handle

  • 03/16/08--10:06: on to jollyball (chan 1990708)
  • on to jollyball

    dinosaur omnimax not to much fun for 3 yo.

    jollyball has all the mystery and intrigue she can handle.



    Tags: jollyball intrigue handle mystery fun

  • 03/24/08--04:30: Season 19 Ep 24: Moral Compass, I can't tell you, ABBA (chan 1990708)
  • Croncast 2008-03-24 Croncast - 2008-03-24.mp3
    Show: #471
    Length: 26:34
    Size: 18.9mb
    Format: mp3

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    Wish I had done show notes last night
    Trying to the show to download from my phone isn't going too quickly
    OK, here's what I got
    The laughing intro
    Betsy has to stop
    She can't handle not making fun of me
    Oh, Mr B
    You'll be gone for 3 days
    You're boyfriend would come out of the closet
    How did I slip through?
    If it were 1950 I would be married to a gay man
    Now they're strolling to Erasure hand in hand
    Isn't that ABBA?
    Whitney was for the queens too?
    Yes, Kris
    Why do you think they like me so much?
    That is what will hold you back from being a republican
    No that would be my moral compass
    It's called empathy
    Henry is still trying to make me a republican
    You have a manic nature with work
    Just put a chip in me
    Interfacing with machines would be much easier
    What did you just think?
    I won't be held to testify, I can't tell you

    The Resale Queen Podcast is now here! Every Saturday by 9 a.m. CST


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    Tags: ABBA Republican moral compass betsy smith

  • 05/14/08--04:20: Season 20 Ep 16: Sellers Hate Hoarders, not the Game, Golf Stance (chan 1990708)
  • Croncast 2008-05-14 Croncast - 2008-05-14.mp3
    Show: #491
    Length: 19.7
    Size: 28:40 mb
    Format: mp3

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    Special note: Betsy and Jeanie are having a meetup in San Francisco May 21, 2008 at House of Shields 39 New Montgomery St., Time: 6:30 p.m., stop and have a drink or two!

    Betsy "Classified Ads" Smith
    That is your new name
    You're like silly putty
    Let me see your palm
    I guarantee that their is an ad transfered to it
    Did I see a Happy Mother's Day Classified ad?
    Nope
    Did I sleep on a floor for you?
    Mr B I am going to kick your ass
    I don't want to hit golf balls
    Then I win by default
    You are very competitive
    My brilliant delightful wife made it rain golf balls
    I thought it would be like a coffee machine
    I wanted a cute paper basket with a handle
    The second of the idiots is now here
    They should put up a sign
    There was a sign I am sure
    Based on how you played it should be bright pink
    You are so full of crap
    I couldn't put my arms around you
    Resting in your schwetty palms
    A boy at the disco
    You missed the ball completely
    Then I got it dialed in
    I was the winner no doubt
    The driving range isn't on my to do list
    If you had one we would have been doing the next
    I am a bald man, I don't need to be sleeping on carpet
    The divets on my head were too much
    I won't make you sleep on the floor
    Call you Betsy "Lemon Juice" Smith
    This is my super bowl weekend
    Where is the sale this weekend?
    Bears, 23 consorted sub divisions all at once
    They have a consortium of sub divisions?
    Yes
    Betsy now reads the classifieds
    Leaving your boxes on the driveway
    Somebody is going to steal them
    UPS picked them up
    Are you sure?
    What are the rules?
    You show up first and the item is your's
    They might share a bag Gardetto's
    You have done this to her
    Bird Lady I am going to get you
    I am going to walk around with

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    Tags: silly putty classified ads sub division consortium

  • 12/16/09--17:12: one handle two jugs (chan 1990708)
  • one handle two jugs



    Tags: jugs handle

  • 01/27/10--15:40: Green Pants, Entering the Scene, Chicagowaukee accent (chan 1990708)
  • Show: #542
    Length: 30:33
    Format: mp3

    To listen to this and all new Croncast episodes Get Cool!

    I walk out on the stoop every morning to pick up the Times
    I have on my robe, bunny slippers
    You wish you could afford the Times
    That's true
    Or had a stoop of my own
    Trampled by clicking heels heading out of the building
    What I like about New York is you can count on people
    You can trust them
    However, you can't trust the New Yorkers that wear green pants
    They will slam doors on you
    Push you off the curb in front of a bus
    The have an alliance with leprechauns
    It's true
    Trying to transcribe your kids homework from accented folks
    We couldn't understand each other
    You're accented now too, baby
    You've toured the midwest
    They can't understand you
    Your Chicagowaukee accent
    It's all about dominance in NY
    Passive dominance is the flavor of the relationship
    It's like entering an improv scene
    Costco in the city experience
    99/100 emails are for you
    We did get noticed on the street
    We handled it horribly
    The kids were like what?
    Really you know who I am?
    The walking class is stuck during the NYC marathon
    Only people left were us and the runners


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    Tags: Chicagowaukee leprechaun bunny slippers NYC marathon

  • 02/17/11--09:37: Giving Away - 2 Black Keys Tickets for SOLD OUT Las Vegas Show (You pay shipping) (chan 1990708)
  • Too good to be true? Nope.

    If you get picked at random and pay the overnight shipping. Which according to FedEx is about $40 for 10:30 a.m. deliver tomorrow.

    I am a huge Black Keys fan and haven't seen them live since 2006. I thought Las Vegas would be the end to that drought. Not the case.

    However, it can be the start of something awesome for you or another great set of memories from a stand out rock band.

    I've got TWO General Admission tickets to the Saturday, February 19th sold out show at the Chelsea in the Cosmopolitan Hotel of Las Vegas.

    Here's how I'm going to do this since I waited to the last minute because I thought I could pull this out:

    A. Leave a comment on this post with your facebook page, twitter handle or an email with '[at]' instead of an '@' (helping to avoid the spam) so that i can contact you if you win.

    B. At 3:00 EST today I will pick one commenter at random. You've got 10 minutes to get back to me before I pick someone else, since I need to send these out as soon as possible to get them to someone.

    C. Drop the $40 for the shipping in my PayPal and I'll head to FedEx.


    This isn't a scam or anything weird.

    I'm a huge fan and thought I could pull it out. I tried to take my 5 year old with me to Central Park when the Keys played there but it was sold out. We sat outside and listened for about an hour. She's also loves the Keys, well it makes up about 850f her music listening in my presence, so of course she does. She was pissed we couldn't get in. Don't let this happen to you ;).



    Tags: the black keys las vegas cosmopolitan chelsea

  • 03/30/11--07:12: Dude From L.A., Proper Table Talk, Killates (chan 1990708)
  • Episode: #722 | Length:27:48 | Format: mp3

    To listen to this and all new Croncast episodes Get Cool!

    Yelp can't handle it
    People from LA
    New Yorkers don't have attitude
    Proper table talk
    Rich dudes
    Pretended to get the wheel stuck
    That would be groovy pie
    Who let him in?
    Same psychographic
    So you're back
    Pilates is not very manly
    Everything that you ever wanted to know about pilates
    It should be called Killates

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    Tags: croncast best of 2010 funniest podcast longest episode

  • 05/15/11--18:41: graff handle (chan 1990708)
  • graff handle



    Tags: handle graff